Comments on: notes: scents. & writing.

By: Cora Luttrell

Cora Luttrell — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 23:46:26 +0000

I know what you mean about the scent thing!! I start feeling like…shouldn’t there be more “real” substance to the scent rather than chemicals…and most of them that are likely toxic too? Then things get SUPER awkward when some guy with the same deodorant or cologne walks by whom you normally would NEVER think about having sex with, and I smell it and think about sex. After which, I shudder and realize who that scent’s coming from and feel grossed out. hehehe.

By: Suzanne Portnoy

Suzanne Portnoy — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:09:33 +0000

I think there’s a fine line between writing as if no one is reading and holding back just enough to feel that there’s still a part of you that only you know (and perhaps your closest friends) know exists. I deliberately avoid writing about the more mundane aspects of my life because, well, as a sex blogger, they aren’t particularly sexy. I’ve almost stopped writing about intimate moments with men I really care about because I don’t want to share those moments with the world. And why should I? Often I write and save really hot experiences for future books and don’t blog about them at all or in a kind of shorthand that helps me to remember that moment. I love blogging for the way it allows me to connect with my readers and track my journey but question the need to give it all away. I think you give you away more than most. Why not hold back something just for yourself?

By: isabellablue

isabellablue — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:27:41 +0000

“The easiest memories to confront are the clients. There were several times when I was on some travel gig, trapped in some stranger’s plane or hotel room, thinking to myself, I can’t fucking do this. Sometimes I was just burned out, sometimes I was just with someone who was absolutely intolerable. But rather than blog about them at the time, I learned from those experiences and eventually found ways to work around them.”

I’ve really struggled with this and I’m in the process of finding my way around it, as well. The feeling of being trapped and suffocated. But I encouraged their affection in the beginning, i wanted it and thought it was good for business. God, the guilt of leading them down that road then being completely unable to give them more of myself, if only for the weekend. Seducing them and making them fall in love with me … not good for business, not good for anyone involved.

By: deannie

deannie — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 08:28:50 +0000

I never really appreciated the genuinely cathartic value of writing until I started working with a counselor. I have so many things I have put in a mental box on the shelf that didn’t belong there and writing them down, cataloging them so to speak, has gone a long way to my doing a lot of mental housekeeping. I wish you peace as you engage in that writing.

I love what you do share with us. Seriously, scents are so powerful. It has probably happened to us all that one walks past a scent and is practically teleported back to a moment in time.

By: LuckySeven

LuckySeven — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:40:47 +0000

gah, i typo’d “pride” the first time : (

By: LuckySeven

LuckySeven — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:38:31 +0000

I’m always an advocate of embracing the dark. Indeed, mine comes and finds me, relentlessly, when I don’t. But I wince a bit when you say someone found you the last time you blogged “as though no one was looking.”

I think your blog is fantastic and stupendous as it is. And I think embracing what you’ve avoided is worthwhile and something you’ll feel great about over time. Confronting those demons is a source of real prided, earned pride, and healthy confidence. I’m just not sure public blogging is the safest space for doing that honey.

By: The Slutty Duckling

The Slutty Duckling — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:59:18 +0000

I’ve been experiencing a lot of that unwillingness to blog about tough or dark stuff that’s going on in my life. I half feel like no one really wants to read it, but I also think I have a desire to put it out of my mind and off paper. Writing makes everything more real and concrete, which is ordinarily what I love about it — writing about experiences reminds me that they weren’t just fantasies or dreams but rather that they happened and exactly how they made me feel. For these same reasons though, I avoid bloging about the tougher stuff.

By: Disconnected

Disconnected — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 17:49:27 +0000

Yay, one of those posts!

Have you by any chance read or come across a book called Perfume, by Patrick Suskind? The pro/antagonist is a man who has no smell… What you describe above is almost a passage from the book, which is seen through his eyes.

Also, and probably unsurprisingly, being a fan of your writing, I like the term “fractured life”. I feel very close to that.

By: Sabina

Sabina — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:49:50 +0000

I used a man’s deodorant once because I forgot to pack my own, kept using it to trap his smell on me, but then once I bought my own stick of the same when I realized it worked better than women’s deodorant, the smell stopped being him. So be careful of that.
Like Wendy, I wish I could go back and read your old blogs…

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:11:06 +0000

I’ve become so accustomed to doing everything on a computer and editing editing editing that nothing important ever makes it through. I know I filter too much. If I had to write by hand, with pen to paper, I think more of me would come through. It almost inspires me to do a stream-of-consciousness writing exercise like the good old days.

It’s a shame that you had to abandon your old blogs. I bet there’s a wealth of great writing there that many of us will never have the chance to read.