Comments on: sexual protégé.

By: eu

eu — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 14:21:55 +0000

whatever happened with this??

can you give us an update? did you take on the role of a sexual protégé or pass?

By: jackpassionately

jackpassionately — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:58:38 +0000

Nothing wrong with taking on the “teacher” role for a while. Teaching validates for yourself what you know. Teaching makes you learn (you never understand anything better than when you try to explain it to someone else). Plus, being around someone young tends to make you feel “smart” and “experienced,” rather than “older.” Go for it. (Which, now that I read on, I see you have. So, never mind me.)

By: Ell

Ell — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 13:17:49 +0000

“How do you write about sex that’s neither flawed nor complicated?”

Ha! I love this.

We’ve grown up with the narrative tradition of the obstacle or hurdle that has to be cleared! And it’s often what makes blogs so compelling.

I have been writing about uncomplicated, unflawed sex for nearly four years and it can be hard work. For the reader there’s little drama other than the drama of pure lust! But it doesn’t make for high contrast – I rarely air the dirty linen as such if things are less than rosy which isn’t often to be truthful. Writing about joyous, “perfect” sex is fun too, but it’s certainly an interesting question.

By: ugh

ugh — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 08:21:37 +0000

I hate to be a downer, but I do hope you disclose a bit more detail of exactly what you in particular mean by more experienced. Unless of course you think she’s hip to your sex work. I know, I know, some sex workers are safer then your average promiscuous bear. In that case, you can explain all that to her yourself (rather then to a stranger in the comments of your blog) and let her make an educated life decision. You don’t seem to hide things from your partners, but many with blogs do and it’s frustrating to read such contradictions.

By: deannie

deannie — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 03:00:07 +0000

Just finding you here, not over there. Missed your writing, glad you didn’t stop.

By: badinfluencegirl

badinfluencegirl — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 23:12:33 +0000

“How do you write about sex that’s neither flawed nor complicated?”

i don’t know. in fact i take refuge in erotica because my sex life is non-fascinating to write about. it was nice, there were orgasms.

By: Athena

Athena — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:38:56 +0000

I’ll also sign up for sexual protoge! (also, INTP as well, but nearly equal on the I/E part there). Have fun with that… I’ve been looking for another biwoman for fun at the moment myself.

By: LuckySeven

LuckySeven — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 01:49:16 +0000

Well, D., I just popped in to say Hi from London, and now this.

I just spent an incredible 3 days with a new sexual protegee. It’s an arrangement I’m liking more and more these days. I love the mentoring aspect. I was able to arrange a private visit for us to a couture house that a friend runs, and got her some of those beautiful designer’s dress sketches as keepsakes. It’s an experience that I, by virtue of how I have lived my life (and yes, plenty of good fortune), could provide for her, to open her world and her mind. And that was after we fucked three times before we left the house for dinner on the afternoon she arrived.

So I’m with the “go for it” lobby.

By: pickle

pickle — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:53:30 +0000

Ive been reading yr comments for a few months and i thought i’d like to address what u said about authority and how u prefer to relate to people as equal. I felt that also when I was younger and had a difficult time in the navy with authority. Im much older now and I have a different take on it… I think that respect is important as a social lubricant and it gets mixed up with deferring to someone who who might in actuality be a shithead- think George Bush- i respect the office, but what an asshole. Its hard to reconcile the two feelings and one gives respect to people who have earned it. Now matter how hard it is to defer to people you must admit that other people who do things well- an artist, a dancer, a philospher etc who can touch your inner core values are worthy of your respect and deferring to them is a way of acknowledging their expertise in their field. I am a 6th degree black belt and my feeling is that I respect other fighters who are of high rank because of the hard work they have gone through. I defer to higher ranks as a way of acknowledging their superiority. I could never fight my teacher, even if I could beat him. Respect stops me. I feel pleased to defer to higher ranks- there is no ego involved. It is simply the way it should be. I think ego and self concept prevent us from seeing clearly who we really are and who the other person really is. Im not at all sure that im being clear or even that I am correct. I do know that I feel pleased when I defer to a superior position held by someone who is worthy of respect. I share your thoughts about people who expect defferential treatment- its irritating. It should be given freely, not demanded. If a lower belt does not defer to my rank I end up feeling that I have not earned their respect and that they do not understand martial arts. I tend to go out of my way to kick their ass…to earn their respect. People who defer to you are simply expressing their respect for you. Accept it graciously and move on…perhaps you have earned it. As for the younger woman you talked about- I see things like this from a straight guys perspective… a dream come true. Whats really important I think is that you discuss the pitfalls and consequences of the concept before starting… what happens if love creeps in? Physical pleasure is one thing- love is another. And I think you are more curious than you admit to yourself. I say give in to your curiosity and be alert to love- then it gets complicated. Pickle

By: Cora Luttrell

Cora Luttrell — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:57:36 +0000

I agree with what The Slutty Duckling says: where and how do you get these girls flocking to you so easily?? Maybe some homing signal or what? ‘Cause I’m lost on how to approach girls for purely sexually experimental relationships… I guess a lot of the difficulty does result from how much harder, I find, it is to figure out who’s bi/les/straight! Unless, that is, there are certain traits or dead give aways I’m supposed to be looking out for??