sex habits of single women, circa ‘64.
I collect rare books in three or four subject areas, and one of them is sexually graphic texts and prints. From the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries. And early sexological texts.
I’ve started to get interested in cheap paperbacks from the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s with sex-specific themes, and right now I’m reading a book called Sex Habits of Single Women, published in 1964.
I’m transcribing the first page:
‘I’m a tramp — according to the standards of your generation.’ So the twenty-eight-year-old New York career girl told interviewers questioning her in connection with the forthcoming
Haynes-Goldman Study Analysis. ‘And my grandparents would have called me beyond redemption. I say that’s for the birds. I’m not a sexpot, a nympho or a retarded adolescent. I’m a normal, decent, honorable girl, with normal urges. Sure, there’s a difference between generations. My mother, who married in the 30’s, was a hypocrite about sex. My grandmother, who got married just before World War I, was either a complete innocent who suppressed her natural feelings and desires, or else she was too good to be true.‘I’m honest, and so are the girls I know. We don’t pretend, and we don’t play polite little games that hide the truth. We’re single, but we have affairs. I can’t tell you exactly how many I’ve had myself. Who counts? After the first four or five, I stopped keeping tabs, and I’m sure my friends feel the same. What difference does it make?
‘When you’re hungry, you take on a steak and a baked potato. So when you want sex, why not take on a man? I mean, if a man wants you and you want him, you do something about it, you don’t just sit there. As long as both of you know the score and nobody gets hurt, I can’t for the life of me see what’s wrong with doing what comes naturally.
‘Eventually, when I flip so hard the world turns upside down, I’ll get married — and then it will be for keeps. But I sure don’t plan to give my husband a lilac-scented book called My Lurid Past any more than I expect him to give me one called The Confessions of a Casanova. If people will just leave girls like us alone, we’ll make out fine. We’re not asking for sympathy and we know better than to expect understanding. Just keep out of our hair. Remember these are the 1960’s — not the 1930’s or the 1910’s — and if you’ve got to talk about how corrupt we are, excuse us for laughing in your faces.’
God, I love that passage.
That could have been written today. Which means we’ve been running in circles, or cycles, for the past few decades. History chases its tail.
19 comments to “sex habits of single women, circa ‘64.”
On July 31st, 2008 at 1:32 am, themaykazine said...
I really did have to keep reminding myself that the passage was written in the ’50s. That’s fabulous! I’m personally not as open with my own sexual relations, but I absolutely respect that woman’s strong sense of self and independence.
On July 31st, 2008 at 7:56 am, ian in london said...
isn’t there something somewhere about how each generation thinks that it invented oral sex? larkin?
On July 31st, 2008 at 9:28 am, Jim said...
Excellent, excellent passage, and you’re right . . . surprisingly contemporary. Once again proving that there’s really not much new under the sun.
XO
On July 31st, 2008 at 2:20 pm, Laken said...
“When you’re hungry, you take on a steak and a baked potato. So when you want sex, why not take on a man? I mean, if a man wants you and you want him, you do something about it, you don’t just sit there. As long as both of you know the score and nobody gets hurt, I can’t for the life of me see what’s wrong with doing what comes naturally.”
That is so true. What a great passage. I really enjoyed reading it.
On July 31st, 2008 at 8:46 pm, collegehookerboy said...
´When you’re hungry, you take on a steak and a baked potato. So when you want sex, why not take on a man?’
Thats a great line. People are always going to be hungry, no matter how illegal the steak and potatoes are.
On August 1st, 2008 at 1:24 am, rachel said...
“That could have been written today. Which means we’ve been running in circles, or cycles, for the past few decades. History chases its tail.”
Indeed. Great excerpt, thanks for sharing. I’ve got to get my hands on this book!
On August 1st, 2008 at 7:29 am, Friction said...
Wow. We’ve come so far…
On August 1st, 2008 at 10:28 am, Sabina said...
I love this woman, and I’m definitely going to start using phrases like, “take on a steak and a baked potato.”
On August 2nd, 2008 at 1:09 pm, Nicole Kelly said...
I’m a latecomer, having only recently discovered your blog. I’m fascinated and looking forward to getting up to date - reading through archives.
I love the passage you’ve quoted here. Wow!How frank, candid and devoid of doubt. The tone seems so fresh. Indeed, we’ve been turning our wheels for a while now - at least in the States. Maybe some Northern European countries could still lay claim to that attitude…but here - in the land of Nipplegate? Gawd forbid.
On August 3rd, 2008 at 12:16 pm, VictoryRed said...
This was a pretty enjoyable passage. It doesn’t answer what seems to be the biggest mystique around female sexuality, however, which I don’t think is a question of “how much” as it is “with who”. I find the criteria for selecting sexual partners from the female point of view to be so varied and diverse (and therefore much more interesting) I cant tell if its rooted in a biological or psychological drive. What we have to remember about this passage though, is that although it could conceivably be contemporary, if it were it would be a bit irresponsible. There are many educated, professional, sexually empowered women who “keep it in their pants” not because its unbecoming a lady, but for their own emotional, psychological, and physical health. America has been sexually liberated, but it is still chained by rampant STIs, unhealthy relationships, crime, etc. For these factors, this woman’s attitude, though applaudable, may not be prudent in our age.
On August 3rd, 2008 at 6:20 pm, isabellablue said...
Not too surprising for the mid ’60s. Besides revisiting the sexual revolution every so often, we are getting cramped out by ever growing organized religion. However, supposedly, we don’t circle or reverse, only move laterally taking different paths. We are always moving forward.
By the way, I knew it was porn!!! You sexy girl! And, I’m a huge fan of your photographer. It’s nice to know we have the same taste. Lucky me. :)
On August 4th, 2008 at 5:32 pm, Wendy said...
Interesting passage, thanks for sharing. I’m watching “Oprah” today and the topic is sex, and I’m surprised at how naive and repressed our (in the larger sense) attitudes remain. The sex conversation seems so unsophisticated and stagnant. It’s a wonder we haven’t come further since that passage you transcribed was conceived.
On August 4th, 2008 at 10:49 pm, badinfluencegirl said...
hey nicole the courts overturned the ‘nipplegate’ fine and actually basically called the fcc silly.
:)
On August 7th, 2008 at 1:37 pm, Nicole Kelly said...
Hey Miss Bad Influence,
You’re right - the courts have backhanded the fcc. Yay! Finally some good sense. The press have sort of kept mum about it - certainly compared with their coverage of the infamous nipple flash. ;-)
On August 10th, 2008 at 10:58 am, Lily said...
Oooh, I like. But “I can’t tell you exactly how many I’ve had myself. Who counts?”
Oh, come on, everyone counts! I count all the time! (Don’t they?)
On August 10th, 2008 at 7:31 pm, Cora Luttrell said...
I’m not really into that whole sexual liberalism as described in that interview… Or even today’s post-modern/post-women’s lib ideas about sex. I don’t really know why but the idea of a hook-up culture really doesn’t appeal much to me. Do I have urges? Hell Yah, I do, but sleeping with a random doesn’t satisfy me anymore than going on a crash diet that’ll leave me heavier than when I started. Am I too frigid or just weird? I elect neither. I don’t think sexual urges necessarily have to be fulfilled one way or another, nor that the fact of anyone who chooses (like her grandmother) to be sexually conservative must be extremely naive/innocent or a great actress. Plus, I’m too paranoid to have casual sex. I know certain STIs like herpes and HPV are passed on more or less through skin to skin contact and condom usage can’t do much to prevent them.
On August 14th, 2008 at 11:57 am, Josephine said...
Hi Deb –
I have a copy of Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask by Dr. David Reuben. It was originally published in 1969. It’s very campy. I’m fairly certain most of the quotes in the book are fake. And there’s definitely some very outdated information in the book. The book covers everything from ben-wa balls to hookers to teen pregnancy to frigidity (haven’t heard that term in a while). If you’d like me to send it you pop me an email.
On August 15th, 2008 at 10:36 am, debauchette said...
My god, I would love that. I’ll get in touch, Josephine.
On August 21st, 2008 at 8:45 pm, Satine said...
I ABSOLUTELY loved this!