For me, it’s been a decent week. A reasonably productive, increasingly optimistic, satisfying and pleasant week. Things continue to be beautiful with Gabriel. I have no idea what to do with my sexual protégé, though I’m set to share drinks with her when I get back from the UK (I’m rushing in and out of the UK in a sort of drive-by, fly-through, whiplash of travel, though I hope to return for a longer stint in the near future). I’m missing an intriguing sex party in London, and that makes me unhappy, but otherwise, I have no complaints.

But friends of mine, they’re having a terrible week. I’m seeing break ups and I’m seeing career issues, and I’ve just seen the closure of a fabulous, witty, sexy blog: Chelsea’s pretty dumb things.

She writes that she’s just come to the end. No reason given, no reason necessary. She’s keeping her archives up, and if I pick a subject at random, like deepthroating, I’d point you to her deepthroat primer and her description of what deepthroating feels like. And then there are her strip memoirs, which are so addictive and touching and fascinating that I read them through all at once (and compared notes on client psychology). And then Chelsea writes about love in ways that remind me that I still have this massive fear of intimacy to overcome (and I’m trying, I’m trying). When she writes about love, she writes with honesty, candor, and courage. To my mind, that’s the greatest form of courage, the ability to write about the things that hurt us most, and the ability to write about these things honestly.

For Chelsea’s honesty and profound self-awareness, and her willingness to share that awareness with the world, she’s been rewarded with the worst sort of stalker. I suppose most sex bloggers attract their share of stalkers, but Chelsea has such an enviable talent with words that she attracts the jealous types, the kind that can’t function without harassing the women they find threatening in some weak attempt to ease their own insecurities and self-loathing. Chelsea’s always risen above it with grace, but me, I’ve been sitting here poised at the edge of a rant for a very long time. Because I have no fucking patience for stalkers.

I’d love to call this woman out, but that would drive traffic to her site, and I’d rather she suffer without an audience.

I mentioned that Chelsea hasn’t given a reason for ending ‘pretty dumb things,’ and I saw that some of her commenters have taken issue with this. But I don’t think she needs a reason. Sometimes there is no reason. Having blogged about my personal life for about five years, over several blogs, I know that sometimes you just need to shut it all down. This blog was up for about six months before I let people know where I was. During that period of quiet, I just needed to drop notes into a void, anonymously, with no traffic, no audience. I was under surveillance at the time, so I’m sure that was part of it, but I know I was also burned out, by clients, by the fiance, by an overabundance of drama. When I felt clear-headed again, I was ready to be visible.

I hope Chelsea just needs a little time and space, and when she writes again, it’ll be brilliant. In the meantime, we have the archives. It’s sad to see ‘pretty dumb things’ close down, but it also feels positive to me, the way break ups can be positive. It’s the closure of one experience, but it’s also the opening of another.