Comments on: the end of james.

By: Dr Szasz

Dr Szasz — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:15:54 +0000

Well, I have to say I feel sad for poor James. A victim of circumstances no doubt. But a neurotic? Please. That's too easy an accusation since most neurotics in the US are geographically located there anyways.

By: isabellablue

isabellablue — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:58:13 +0000

You are conflicted and over analyzing ending a relationship that doesn’t exist? There is nothing to end. Personally, I don’t think you like these loveless situations as much as you think. Crave and enjoy, maybe, but you absolutely will fall in love again.

“But it’s clear something more needs to be said.”

Good-bye, James.

Of course if he prefers you mute then a text may be more appropriate. :-)

By: bad influence girl

bad influence girl — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:42:41 +0000

and then, of course, miss d posts and says something so well i have to read it three times just to enjoy it.

that’s it, you have a rift of understanding with james and those are sucky. open endings aren’t.

By: bad influence girl

bad influence girl — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:40:39 +0000

doctor m: i do too. someone once told me that i talk too much in bed and i still can’t comprehend it.

my current lover thinks the sign of a good relationship is when you forget you’re necking to have some random conversation (and then neck some more of course)

disconnected: i can’t agree with you although i want to. they discussed a relationship and words like ‘emotional exclusivity’ were used. she has to tell him it’s over somehow, it’s only polite.

that said, i’ve used the never call back option myself a time or two…

By: debauchette

debauchette — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:36:21 +0000

I actually prefer open endings. I don’t like finality in anything, and I like to believe that people can understand one another and communicate well without having things stated explicitly. But miscommunication is something that worries me. I come from one of those families that functions by putting on a false smile when there’s a problem, and I don’t really consider that a useful approach to dealing with the world. So I try to be communicative. And I try to resolve rifts in understanding. But in my ideal world, people read my mind and I read theirs and words are saved for dirty talk.

By: Disconnected

Disconnected — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 08:43:21 +0000

But why does something more need to be said? If, as you say, there is nothing there to end, and I think I understand the emotional and practical setting here, then wouldn’t that also imply that all that needed to be said, or that was said of value (the talking, the fucking – whichever), has already been said and that anything said after that pulls down what has happened, the like a fifty page postscript to a Borges short story.

Possibly there is a broader question here – are you a person comfortable with open endings or do you prefer that everything that ‘needs’ to be said be said and all questions and answers aired out?

By: Gentleman Whore

Gentleman Whore — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:06:02 +0000

“But then, I talk before, during and after sex.”

i couldn’t help but think of the scene in ‘curb your enthusiasm’ where cheryl is leaving larry and she complains he talks during sex, but that it wasn’t dirty talk, it was shit like, “who can’t tell the difference between fake crab and real crab?”

By: Doctor M

Doctor M — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:27:05 +0000

Geo. Costanza once said that what he wanted most in a girl was “a beautiful mute”. But your writing— your voice —shows that so much of your value would lie in *not* being mute.

But then, I talk before, during and after sex. Voices matter.

James seems to me to want not girlfriends or multiples or whatever the term would be. He wants to direct and produce films-in-his-head. He needs th multiples to keep the action moving on the screen, to keep the shadows flickering.

By: blackdog

blackdog — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:08:30 +0000

I agree with GW – he’s an addict for the 3 or 4-somes, and he’s jonesing. At best, he is just not long term relationship material and at worst, he is scary.

Move on and don’t look back. And try to include stories with ‘Ms. curvaceous ass’ as often as possible. Would she and Gabriel be interested in a 3-some? Yummy… ;)

By: debauchette

debauchette — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:12:28 +0000

I’ve been wondering about that myself, Disconnected. I think part of it is that strange, counter-intuitive problem that there’s nothing here to end — it’s neither monogamous nor substantial (and I definitely believe non-exclusive relationships can be very substantial). But it’s clear something more needs to be said.