Comments on: August 06, 2004.

By: Doctor M

Doctor M — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:59:47 +0000

06 August 04… I wish we could read your oldest archived notes— to get a picture of you at the beginning of the story…

By: Disconnected

Disconnected — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:14:35 +0000

I would agree with the above – we as people need different people to satisfy different parts of ourselves. I know enough people who have had and have lovers and find that this works well, but to me it seems that the worst culprit becomes the desire to tell, which, in several people I have observed, seems to grow and grow until they can’t deal with it anymore.

Personally, I prefer to stick to the “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t show” adage, but then I historically have never had that need to tell. Who knows, maybe it’ll come.

By: peccator

peccator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:06:37 +0000

Thais and d., I very much had the kinds of thoughts you both wrote about in mind when I suggested that that most likely “there was more”. Even if the rich guy strategy can be made to “work” in the narrow bookeeper’s sense of taking some meaningful piece of his swag and moving it permanently to your own account, it comes encumbered.

For the thought-out whore, the big thing seems to be that financial independence and all other benefits need to come strictly on one’s own terms to be worth having. A whore I love likes to say that “there’s nothing more independent than an independent escort”.

And finally, not that I’m any great expert on the topic, but I think Gentleman Whore is right that many of the people who are drawn to whoring are drawn to it not despite the fact that it is deemed socially reprehensible, but BECAUSE of it. The same whore I love once doubted that she’d ever have gotten started if it was respectable.

By: Tryingtolearn

Tryingtolearn — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:12:05 +0000

My French Canadian wife gave me the rules about 3 years ago and I only decided to follow up on it last year after she had been gone on a silent retreat for 2 weeks into a 4 week meditation …so foe a week before that and a week after it is like walking on eggshells…mindfully

Without further ado…
In order of priority:
1: She absolutely positively doesn’t want me to tell her that I have a mistress
2: It can’t be anybody she personally knows
3: It can’t be anyone she doesn’t know in our Condo complex
4: More of a suggestion actually … Ideally I should have more than one mistress

I have observed the first 3 but frankly have enough difficulty with them that I am not smart enough to juggle more than one mistress (metaphorically…although I’m thinking some combat?…assertive? sex may involve bodily picking up a certain smoking hot woman with one arm and using the other to do some good old fashioned bodice ripping …then…but suspense and imagination adds spice don’t you think…)

Now I know why my Dad cheered up when he was 83…

By: bad influence girl

bad influence girl — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 23:57:23 +0000

tryingtolearn: i’m really curious what your rules are…

By: debauchette

debauchette — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:05:33 +0000

I should probably clarify that – it’s pretty misleading. I mean that I’m grateful for the good, and for that, I seem to be willing to risk the bad. The fellow who has me under surveillance is someone I dislike very, very much – if I were willing to expend the energy, I’d hate him – and I’ll never see him again as a client. But I’m still grateful for the financial support more generally. I was reminded of that when I saw this old post.

By: blackdog

blackdog — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:26:06 +0000

“I’m grateful to the men who pay, even when I deal with their drama and baggage and compulsive surveillance…” That last part surprised me – I thought you hated surveillance! Can’t you tell the one(s) into the surveillance to take a hike?

I’ve mentioned this before, but the sex thing for me is the only negative – everything else is great. But my wife doesn’t see it that way – any kind of sex without her (outside of my masturbation) is grounds for divorce. Even looking at porn while masturbating is ‘objectifying women’. I guess I should’ve married one of those understanding Eurpoean types who expect their men to have a mistress…

By: Gentleman Whore

Gentleman Whore — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:22:45 +0000

this “august 6, 2004″ title right at the top of your blog is really fucking up my inner space-time continuum…

By: Gentleman Whore

Gentleman Whore — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 19:59:08 +0000

“And it’s true – there’s more. The sex plays a large role. The uncomplicated nature of those relationships appeals to me. And the fact that I’m still doing it, even though I don’t need to, says something. It’s the freedom, foremost. Sexual and financial.”

and don’t forget it’s socially reprehensible. which was the reason of yours i liked best.

i think loyalty’s a lot more important than monogamy.

By: debauchette

debauchette — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:15:55 +0000

Peccator – I’m thinking the term ‘financial freedom’ doesn’t really apply to the marry-rich strategy. When you marry rich, you marry into someone else’s wealth, not your own. Plus, well, you’re married. I’m with Thais on the ‘gilded cage’ analogy.

So maybe I should stress that it isn’t just having the cash, but having the cash in my own wallet.

And it’s true – there’s more. The sex plays a large role. The uncomplicated nature of those relationships appeals to me. And the fact that I’m still doing it, even though I don’t need to, says something. It’s the freedom, foremost. Sexual and financial.

(Oh, and I’m completely supportive of dialogue or conversation within the comment areas.)

And I’m definitely with you, Tryingtolearn, on the exclusivity question. Relationships function on so many levels, and when people grow together, they might be tightly knit in some areas but distant in others. For whatever reason, sexual intimacy seems to be the first to go in a lot of relationships, but that doesn’t mean those relationships aren’t strong otherwise. So I’m a big supporter of mistresses and man-friends and bed-mates.