C wrote: Thus far, you’ve primarily written about sex with men. This is the first time we’ve heard about sex with women. It would be interesting to read your thoughts on the relative merits of both…
I can try. I haven’t really given it much thought, but maybe I should.
I generally associate women with softness. Their skin is soft, their bodies are soft. When I think of women, I think of their heat, the muskiness of their hair, the sweetness of their pussies and thighs, and that’s at the heart of my attraction to them. I tend to be attracted to women who exude sex, who seem to be saturated with it. And because these women smell like sex to me, when I’m attracted to a woman, my immediate impulse is to put her up against a wall so I can breathe her in. My impulse is oral and tactile.
Men call up a different range of associations. It depends on what they look like or feel like, the psychology of the dynamic, their personality, their comfort with sexuality. Some men attract me because I want to sink my teeth into them. I like the idea of stripping them down so I can explore their bodies.
There’s a scene in the beginning of ‘Lie with Me,’ in which Leila pulls a man from a party and fucks him against a chainlink fence. She lifts her skirt, doubles over, and grinds against him, while repeating, “Don’t come, don’t fucking come…” Certain men elicit the same response from me. I want to use them for my personal gratification, repeatedly, constantly. And I want to bruise them a little. I feel predatorial, like I want to suck them dry and leave them exhausted.
But with other men, I want to be penetrated to the core – I want to be used for their gratification. This is where I identify closely with Kasia, who writes,
I like the idea that men can do whatever they want to me. I will please them over and over and over again until they are utterly satisfied. I love the idea of them taking turns with me, one at a time. Or more at a time. One with his cock in my pussy, the other in my mouth. Those two will cum, just barely pulling their cocks out of me and then others will take their places. By the time they’ve all finished, the initial set of men will be hard again and ready to fuck me once more. Or twice more.
I first had this fantasy when I was going through puberty, so the fantasy came long before I had the maturity to actually experience it. (She mentions a scene in ‘Last Exit to Brooklyn,’ and the same scene gave me an entire adolescence worth of urgent masturbation material). I think it’s a recurring fantasy because penetration is simultaneously exciting and frustrating to me. My body wants to be penetrated, but the more I’m penetrated, the more I want to be penetrated. So gangbang-lust is a natural extension.
I don’t associate penetration with women, but maybe I should. Crash Pad, by Shine Louise Houston, is one of the hottest porn videos in existence (in my humble, nymphomaniacal opinion), and it’s rich with penetration. This just hasn’t been my experience, yet. When I’m with a woman, I still dwell on her texture and taste, and I tend to treat her like a source of intoxication.
And sometimes I prefer something altogether different. I enjoy excruciating slowness, with both women and men – slow kissing, slow penetration, slow hands. It varies.
Overall, these are just different experiences, and they excite me in different ways.
I love the way you wrote about the feelings men and women evoke in you. “I feel predatorial, like I want to suck them dry and leave them exhausted.”… I feel like this, often, but in a more passive sense, in that I hungrily want them to sate themselves on my body, but without the wanting to be used. Can one be a passive predator?
I know what you mean about women being soft, but there are plenty of us who aren’t. And who also hold a particular cock-centric lesbian sexuality … here’s hoping someday you & I will be in a room together again, I didn’t take the chance to talk with you enough last time.
I’ll look forward to that, Sinclair. Very much.
again, killing me.
whenever i open google reader and see you have updated your blog, i save it for last. it would be unfair to everyone else to, uh, come after you. anyway.
this “My body wants to be penetrated, but the more I’m penetrated, the more I want to be penetrated.” is exactly how i feel writ in one simple sentence rather than a year’s worth of blog entries.
i may start out not in the mood but once i get a cock inside me i want more and more and more of it. this is difficult as my current lover isn’t that proficient with the ‘get back on the horse’ aspect of getting it up. fortunately he has other talents *g* and is working on that one…
anyway i find that interesting and i wonder just how many women feel that way.
Can’t seem to get through to anyone who can help me – can you put me on the right tracks? Your irresistibly enticing description of ‘The Crash Pad” so makes me SOOO want to order one, but can’t seem to do so from Europe – all the automated stuff works for US only. Can’t find it on ebay or amazon … do I really have to upheave house and home and come live over there to be able to get my own copy?? You have truly whetted my appetite and will be keeping an eye on this truly amazing blog babes!
Really? I hate the thought that this video isn’t making it out of the country. Try Babeland. They’re American, but I’m sure they ship overseas. If they don’t, just let me know and I’ll send you a copy myself.
Thanks … am now being totally distracted by the wonderful accessories they sell at Babeland … I want to try just about EVERYTHING! Thanks for putting me in the right direction, and I’ll keep you posted! Snogs galore!!!
also lovehoney in the uk might be able to help….
well said, very well said.
I completely agree.
and speaking from a gang-bang experience I know exactly how you feel.
But, somehow, I was never fully satisfied…. sigh.