note to men: decorum and condoms
Since I’ve been writing about sex with multiples, I thought I should post a short note on decorum and condoms.
If you’re a man, you probably know that you should never make an issue about condom use. It’s bad form. Don’t force it into a topic of conversation. Don’t haggle. Don’t whine. I’ve seen men whine. Don’t fucking whine.
If you’re good, it’s effortless. The condom happens without discussion, without waiting until the very last minute, without “I’ll just put the tip in.” If you’re good, the condoms are nearby and when you’re at that point, you put it on.
If you’re having sex with multiple women, you change condoms each time, whether you come or not. That means you go through a lot of condoms. So if you have hopes of fucking multiple women at once, you should have a lot of condoms.
If you go from anal to vaginal, you change condoms.
Last thing: don’t get the spermicidal condoms. There’s plenty of discussion about how the chemical tends to irritate sensitive skin, but if we’re talking about multiples, or even one-on-one, the spermicide poses a problem when you remove the condom to receive a blowjob. It tastes awful. Plus, everything your spermicidal dick touches will taste awful. And, of course, if you go the safer route and keep it covered at all times, well, then it tastes extra spermicidal and you’ll never get a blowjob, ever. It’ll be like aversion therapy and you don’t want that.
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And to women: keep condoms in your purse as back-up.
8 comments to “note to men: decorum and condoms”
On February 16th, 2008 at 6:32 pm, Savage Henry said...
I save money on condoms by only having sex with myself.
On February 16th, 2008 at 8:20 pm, Amanda said...
I’m so glad you wrote this!! We don’t talk enough about ways to enjoy sex safely!
On February 17th, 2008 at 1:49 am, stripper said...
To this day I still meet men who don’t even know how to put a condom on.
On February 17th, 2008 at 8:55 am, Garrett said...
Very well said. Any man who wheedles and whines about safer sex is not ready to have sex of any kind…save with himself.
On February 22nd, 2008 at 6:38 pm, fireweaver said...
ugh, i was dating this weasel you speak of 2 summers ago. i had to stop him at about the time he was trying to “just put the tip in” and tell him a condom was a necessity. he flat-out told me no. then went on to whine about how “it’s so not fair, a man can’t come with a condom on, there’s just no sensation at all!”
and yes, of course, i had the backup condoms in my bag with me. clearly one of us wasn’t so much an adult…and that relationship was promptly over.
On March 14th, 2008 at 3:16 pm, Client 9 « One Shady Lady said...
[...] But the sad truth is that, in my (single) experience and in those of my former colleagues, men who ask for bareback tend to be whiners. I suspect Client 9 whined a lot that night, about how much he was paying, about why she [...]
On January 27th, 2009 at 5:05 am, Curious said...
I love the fact you visited this subject.
It’s not brought up enough and men these days…..
On February 22nd, 2009 at 10:23 am, anon said...
Always us a rubber and dispose of so others don’t come in contact with it. Best to flush it down the toilet.