From experience, readings and stories told to me. You just explained exactly what Italian men is like.

They don’t give up until they get what they want, almost pushy but there is a charm about them which makes you want to give in. Naturally flirtatious and cheeky, even if they are taken.

That was definitely rape, but even if you didn’t verbally consent…. it sounds like you mentally wanted to fuck him.
That story was extremely hot.

if seen through an anglo mindset, this story is really racy, BUT i live in italy too, am a petite, fun-loving girl (wink-wink, nudge-nudge; say no more)…

BUT italy is NOT all it’s cracked up to be…

first, there is no ‘no’ here. ‘no’ means ‘ask again later’. ‘i wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last man on earth’ means ‘maybe i think you’re cute, follow me home’, and ‘hello’ is a subtle ‘ask for my number in the next five seconds; then call me relentlessly for the next five months’.

it’s not really the italian male’s fault, it’s a product of the fact that women have never been allowed to say ‘yes’, so any response you receive at the start from a woman will be bitter and acidic; even if she likes you. the only way to say ‘no’, if you’re a woman, is to ignore any attempt at conversation, look straight ahead, and pretend the person isn’t even standing there. (yay headphones & sunglasses!)

so debauchette was probably right when she said there may have been more communication than of the ‘verbally explicit’ variety… if she made eye contact and said ‘hello’, that would have been taken as a sign of serious interest.

i have rape fantasies too; but as psychologists say, when they’re a fantasy, by definition you’re in control; perhaps debauchette was in control here, in many senses (she could have screamed)…

it is worth considering that the average italian male in his 30’s: A. graduates university at 28. B. gets his first job between 30-32, (with a long-term contract) C. lives at home with his family until he moves in with a girl, usually at 34-ish.

young italians are not getting married and not having children (italy = the only country with negative population growth). they have very little pressure to leave home, and just getting any job is a big accomplishment. there are no women in any mid-or-high level positions in corporations, either. it’s a totally different reality.

you meet a lot of men here that are ‘into’ s&m, partner-swapping, group sex… i think it’s due to the lack of freedom and boredom in their private lives; and a complete lack of life experience. all they have, at the end of the day, is driving fast and fucking. (there is also a HUGE urban legend that american girls are easy.)

when i first moved here i wondered why so many people were into having sex on the beach, cars, alleys… i discovered it’s because they CAN’T do it at home (moms), and italian hotels require you to register with a passport, and that info goes into a government database (d’oh! catholic church!).

SO; debauchette, i love reading your blog… i’m so afraid that you’re going to discover that this country is way too… 2 dimensional for you. it’s good you travel a lot! if you need italian lessons, i’m here for you (though i’m sure a lot of italian boys would be happy to oblige.). i’m glad to see you’re back to writing here on the blog…

Dangerous, borderline, edgy sex. Is there any better?

On an unrelated note I have to restock my Kleenex and Jergens supply as it seems to have been exhausted.

This above all to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

And this also be known, be known and employ! nimble as reflex and in all things, always, always retain the right to improvise.

~William Wallflower

Yes, it disturbs me that somebody may read your post, conclude that such “fucktoy” sex is what ALL women REALLY want, and then use it as a misguided license to destroy a woman’s life. (And really, can you say that this very same man didn’t do as much to some/all of the women who came before and after you?)

Truthfully, if I knew who you were and knew that I too would be able to hold you so exquisitely on that knife’s edge of eroticism and indignity…well, then I would. But I don’t know who you are.

And I don’t think that most women enjoy being raped.

So for better or worse, I conform (and like myself better because I do).

Had some of these close-to-rape, but not exactly-situations myself, when I was around 19-20. There were some situations, when I only agreed to being fucked because it meant nothing to me, and not doing it would have made me look like a naive stupid little girl.

The next morning I was already moving on, no regrets, no feeling dirty. It was just sex, I knew that those man couldn’t take anything away from me. Sometimes it was good. Most of the times, nothing special.

But once, in a situation like that, I met my partner for the next few years. I didn’t even notice it back there, it took a few months until we met again. It was me who didn’t wanted to meet him again, I didn’t like his attitude, the way he dressed, the way he talked.

Afterwards I came to know him better, I fell in love with him. He kept on asking me why I didn’t wanted to meet him for months. There was no answer I could give him. Saying “I just fucked you because you were there, it took me to know you better to like you” just didn’t fit:-)