uneasiness.
07Dec07
Unpredictable men are great to fuck because there’s always some level of excitement, but it’s impossible to feel safe with someone like that. And I need to feel safe before I can let my guard down. And I want to. Christ, I want to.
I prefer guys who are predictable – I know they are probably not so exciting but they feel great to be with….;-)
Oh God, I know that so well.
Recently I realized fully that I can only really fall for a man who is unpredictable, as other guys never get me to the level of excitement necessary to transcend the friend boundary – I just don’t feel the lust and desire to fuck them.
And yes, the pitfalls and pain it comes with are extremely frustrating since I have no idea what to do. Not enough experience, perhaps.
Your blog, by the way, is unbelievable. I love the pure messy words that come to you so naturally and frame the sincere and serious themes you touch. A profound and inspiring combination.
I wish I had that. But somehow, especially when face to face, I keep using the cliches of “making love” and stutter for a long time before calling a cock by its name. Fairly surprising to myself, after two years as an escort.
I decided to print some of your entries and read them aloud to practice being comfortable with talking about sex. Besides, it’s just amazing erotica. Even though I have read very little erotica, I did read a lot of everything else so I am arrogant enough to think I can recognize truly good writing.
Thank you for the extremely kind words, Thais. I love the idea of someone printing these things out and reading them aloud.
It’s funny how some words trip us up, though I’ve always had the opposite problem – I stutter around terms like “making love” or even “love.” It always comes out as, “I love… fucking you.”
With practice…